His Heart by Claire Kingsley

Author:Claire Kingsley [Kingsley, Claire]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-11-04T18:30:00+00:00

22

Brooke

Sunlight peeked through the gap in the curtains, creating a slice of brightness across my sheets—right in my eye. I groaned and turned over. My head hurt and the stupid sun was pissing me off.

The last few days had been gray and cloudy—matching my mood. Fall weather. It was September, and I’d been living in Iowa for over five months.

I grabbed my phone to check the time. Eleven. I was going to be late for work if I didn’t get up. My entire body felt heavy, like I couldn’t lift my limbs. Even rolling over had been hard. I wanted to sink into the softness of my bed, close my eyes, and pretend the world didn’t exist.

I’d already missed the last two days of work. Joe would be pissed if I called in sick again, even if he didn’t find out I was lying. I wasn’t sick. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. But I couldn’t muster the energy to get up and do anything.

I hadn’t felt this lethargic since before I’d moved to Iowa. Even my bad days here hadn’t been anything like this. The deadness was eating its way through me again. Seeping into the cracks in my psyche, worming its way through my veins. A parasite, devouring my spirit.

It had started with a crying spell a few days ago. I’d come home and the tears had burst out of nowhere. Shaking with sobs, I’d curled up on the couch and cried until my back was sore and my throat raw. Afterward, I’d dug out a bottle of Vicodin I still had from somewhere. I hadn’t taken any pills—hadn’t even had a drink—since moving here. But I’d dumped a few into my trembling hand and swallowed them, desperate for anything to make me sleep. To turn off the deluge of pain that had suddenly gripped me.

The next morning, I hadn’t felt any better. If anything, I’d been worse. I hadn’t cried again. Hadn’t even wanted to. But it had taken me four hours just to get out of bed for the first time.

Nothing had happened. I didn’t know what had changed to send me spiraling into this decaying orbit. It wasn’t an anniversary, or Liam’s birthday. I hadn’t gotten any surprising or upsetting news. Things had been fine at work. I’d seen Sebastian a few days before. We’d watched a movie with Charlie. Nothing unusual.

But I was back to feeling like a ghost. It had hit me so hard, it was as if all my color and substance had been ripped away, like the siding on a house in a tornado. I was formless. Transparent. Fading into nothing.

I texted Joe to tell him I was still under the weather, and went back to sleep.

It was dark when I woke up. My bladder screamed at me, so I dragged myself out of bed and went to the bathroom. The clock said nine. God, I’d slept all day. I hadn’t even taken anything. That was crazy. I probably should have been alarmed, but that required too much energy.

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